When I was in high school, in the 1970s, I wrote a paper about how much the world had changed since my grandmother’s birth in the 1890s. I couldn’t imagine that there would be any game-changing developments during my own life. I suppose no one expects the un-expect… well, you know what I mean.
So, thirty-nine years after graduating from college, I have decided to go back to school. I am beginning a Master’s Program in Fiction Writing at Johns Hopkins University next week. I was a little disappointed not to receive a Big Envelope when I was accepted to the program (old person reference), but the email was also exciting. Detailed instructions were included for registering, involving downloading apps and uploading pictures, and I was proud to be able to follow the first five steps. However, at step number six, my computer flipped back to asking for my full legal name, over and over.
My acceptance email told me that the University has people available 24/7 to help me with any technological questions, so, after inputting my full legal name four times, I called. The call went like this:
“Hi, I am a new student in the Advanced Academic Programs and I’m having trouble registering for a class.”
“Sure, are you open to the website right now? Great, so download …. blah blah blah… lots of terms I never heard before …”
“Let me stop you there. I am in my 60s, and haven’t really kept up to date on computer terms …”
“Oh, let me transfer you to Steve.”
Steve must have attended ‘helping old people on computers training.’ We went through the first five steps, and, when my computer flipped back to Step One, Steve asked a very confusing question:
“Will you give me access to your computer?”
“Access to my computer?” Warnings from my adult children of moronic old people falling for scams and having their identity stolen ring in my ears.
“Right, so I can help you fill out the registration.”
I take a deep breath and decide to trust, after all Steve works for the University so he probably has access to all my personal information already.
“All right. Do I need to drive up to Baltimore now?”
Yes, it is a whole new world.